Kinky Talks blog
Adalberto and Hans talk about fun, and also hard subjects from the scene
(sometimes tongue in cheek, sometimes really serious)
the different talks we’ve had will be listed here…
if you got questions or ideas, let us know please.
click here if you want to sign up for these talks in the future
2023-03-01 ~ Kinky Talks 42: Kinky, & Community events (packing for)
(if you haven’t yet) Darklands, a rather unique event to attend and to travel to. Easter Berlin will be next. Folsom, and and andThese are big events, that do take some planning. But smaller events are thriving too, and there is a lot to say for supporting your local community that might support you some…
2023-02-18 ~ In memoriam Axe Leito
In memoriam Axe Leito [17-11-1980 / 18-2-2023] On February 18, 2023, our Pride Ambassador Axe Leito passed away. His partner, his family, Pride Amsterdam and us, we are all deeply shocked. We will miss his generous smile and his contagious enthusiasm. We wish Robin, his family and friends all the strength they need to integrate this…
2023-02-01 ~ Kinky Talks 41: Young and Kinki – The Next Gen
Young and Kinky – we gave “The Next Gen” the mic to listen to the voice of our Youngsters in the Scene. For the older generation that cares to listen.So we are passing the mic to a couple of young and engaged kinksters, who are going to share their thoughts and experiences with us: Stevio,…
2023-01-04 ~ Kinky Talks 40: Drop, drop, event-drop
After the new year’s parties, after the first reality checks of our own new year’s resolutions, and after last year’s pandemic, it seemed kinda logical to come up with this Kinky Talk’s theme: “Drop, drop, event-drop!” 😉 Almost every sub AND most Doms know that feeling of “drop” two, or three days after great events,…
2022-12-14 ~ Kinky Talks 39: Chemsex in the Scene
Chemsex is an easy subject to ignore… until you can’t ignore it anymore. That is why Adalberto and I like to highlight the fun, the risks, the slippery slope, the highs, the “gezelligheid”, the lows, the point of no return, the rock-bottom and that swampy sinking feeling when you notice you should really start to…
2022-11-09 ~ Kinky Talks 38: Kink Aware Therapy: Inspiration for Therapists & Kinksters
On the lookout for an interesting topic for this discussion, I was browsing through my PowerPoints and came across some PowerPoints I presented to psychologists and doctors for the Kinky Clients in their practice! And I thought it might be of interest to Kink Aware Therapists and the people who are their clients.
2022-10-12 ~ Kinky Talks 37: Community: What’s in a name?
“Community”: A community is a social unit (a group of living things) with commonality such as place, norms, religion, values, customs, or identity. Communities may share a sense of place situated in a given geographical area (e.g. a country, village, town, or neighbourhood) or in virtual space through communication platforms. Durable good relations that extend beyond immediate genealogical ties also define a sense of community, important to…
2022-09-14 ~ Kinky Talks 36: Spot – The answer is PROTOCOL
Spot is a well-known presenter and teacher living poly and with BDSM relationships both ‘up’ and ‘down’ the D/s and he is going to talk to us about Protocol… Limit something to make it bigger, the thrilling paradox of BDSM. Spot on protocol
2022-08-10 ~ Kinky Talks 35: Hans – “Whipping with Pride!”
Question: does Pride have ANYTHING to do with wielding a whip???Hell yes! duhhuh! If you have any questions beforehand, or if you have an interesting topic that you’d like us to talk about: let us know!
MonkeyPox and Pride
Monkeypox is a disease from a virus that is spread by rubbing skin to skin, or by puss or infected skin cells that still lay around somewhere after they were rubbed off the tiny scabs from former lesions. Not everybody has symptoms. So basically you’re not sure if you are infected. So if we meet…
2022-07-06 ~ Kinky Talks 34: Kinks and Spirituality
We were talking about the scientific ideas of Mirco Costacurta. He’s our guest: Mirco is a PhD, student in Social Science at the University of Padua (Italy). Sex-positive and LGBT+ activist for Arcigay with inside knowledge about Kink and BDSM
2022-06-01 ~ Kinky Talks 33: Long-ing Relationships… (long term, long distance)
We’ve been talking about relationships, and especially “long” is the keyword for this discussion: Our guests with lots of practical knowledge about these subjects were Spot and Pupsapphire answering questions from their personal viewpoints.
2022-05-06 ~ Kinky Talks 32: Darklands Fr.6pm – KinkyTalks Live
After more than 30 successful online events, Hans & Adalberto bring their Kinky Talks Live to Darklands! Kinky Talks Live!For both newbies and seasoned kinksters, they will discuss the psychology of kinks and our search for ‘extremes’, taking and giving consent and fun, and fun versus fun-ctional substance use & kinky sex.
2022-04-06 ~ Kinky Talks 31: Darkrooms-Lightrooms… Fetish photographers talk
We were talking with D81 en PAN about Fetish Photography… (you can find them on Instagram: @d81photos (www.d81photos.com) & @thedarksideof_pan (www.gianlucapanareo.com/thedarksideofpan) It was a very interesting talk but their beautiful footage contains pictures of people that can not just be exposed online. So Sorry… No Youtube here 😦
2022-03-02 ~ Kinky Talks 30: Kink & Shame
What are we shaming ourselves for? Where are we shaming others? Where does it add to our lust and where does it start to be in the way? We were talking tonight about a politically, and sexually hot topic: shame!Hans’s presentation about kink and shame, and the effects of being shamed in our culture (and…
2022-02-02 ~ Kinky Talks 29: Polyamory in Practice
Polyamory sounds nice… but how do you put that into practice. How do you do poly? Hans will say a few things about poly. While Juan and Alex will tell us about the reality of being in a polyamorous relationship. Poly is like mono…but with a few extra balls in the playing field Hans
2022-01-05 ~ Kinky Talks 28: Your bucket and f*ck-it lists for 2022
We might be more thriftily when writing our bucket-lists. We lived thru another year of social distance and most of us live. So let’s be proud of each other… Hans has been telling a bit about new years resolutions and trying to prevent that in 2023 we will not be looking at the same list…
2021-12-01 ~ Kinky Talks 27: HIV – PrEP – U=U and more
On World AIDS day 2021 we thought it was important to discuss not so much a sexy subject, but a sex subjectWe think this is the date And of course, HIV does not mean AIDS anymore. But there is a lot to be said about sex and HIV. First of all: #getfuckingtested(Bentley, 2021)
2021-11-13 ~ Kinky Talks 26: Kinky Activism
Hans Verhoeven gave us a really informative talk about his work as an activist and we had a long (long!) discussion afterwards. He started with telling us about his activism that he often says: “it begins with a cup of coffee”Meet people and find out what they are doing and see whether you can team…
2021-10-06 ~ Kinky Talks 25: The Psychology of kinks
In this talk, we were diving into the kinky mind and we heard about the most recent research from a psychological perspective on “people who practice kinks”. Guided by Karina Kehlet Lins we tried to better understand what it is that draws us towards practising BDSM. And she talked about how the clinical world is…
2021-09-04 ~ Kinky Talks 24: From Sex to Chems and Back
Especially the people who are fond of kicks and new sensations and people who like to party and play, they are likely to have encounters with drugs (and alcohol is a drug too) and/or with people that use drugs in a combination with sex. Watch the talk about chemsex without blame or nonsense. And if…
2021-08-04 ~ Kinky Talks 23: Puppies and their bone(r)s
The world of pupies is far away from our own ‘normal’ world for a lot of us kinksters. But in the last years this kink is really booming. And the playfulness of this kink is be really appealing. Docile dogs, beauty-dogs, bratty dogs, playful dogs. People on all fours running around really feeling like being…
2021-07-07 ~ Kinky Talks 22: A deep dive into sub space…
There are a lot of ideas and opinions about subspace. It has to do with pain it has to do with humiliation, it has to do with role-play, it’s all about endorphins in the brain et cetera et cetera. Let’s be clear, there is no final answer yet in science for it simply has not…
2021-06-15 ~ Kinky Talks 21: Monster Toys, Monster fun?
We feel that we are not stretching it when Adalberto and I both hoped for a really deep talk about the things one could do with big toys. And even tho we were prepared well for some really in-depth discussion about ways “to go the distance” and perhaps some “how to’s”, to go where no…
2021-05-26 ~ Kinky Talks 20: Consent is Sexy!
Consent is always a hot topic and we need to talk about it. Especially now that we are crawling out of our covid-enclosures onto the stage of meeting people in the flesh again.Us kinksters, we want to abuse and be abused… without really abusing anyone. We want to have fun with stretching holes and limits…
2021-05-05 ~ Kinky Talks 19: The world of gimps and drones
The world of gimps and drones: imagine you’d be in rubber enclosure being (ab)used or being enjoyed visually. Gear, rules, differences, masks, anonymity and freedom in rubber restriction… there is so much to know. So let’s ask the specialists: Jack Hellwing and Johnny Iron! We’ll ask them to explain to us the various different forms…
2021-04-14 ~ Kinky Talks 18: Is more extreme more fun?
People do view us kinksters as being a bit extreme sometimes. Does that have to do with ‘the media’ portraying us as ‘extreme’ so they can offer the readers a nice and voyeuristic view (and then distance themselves with quotes like: “we are happy that we don’t need that”). Or are only the people that…
2021-03-24 ~ Kinky Talks 17: What makes a good Dominant?
After an annoying start due to technical zoom sh#t, Hans West and Johnny Iron started this evening up with some basic thoughts about the question “What makes a good Dominant?” And not so much the obvious “things”, the visible and the ‘twitterable’, but rather the person underneath the Dom. The relationship underneath the D/s.
2021-03-03 ~ Kinky Talks 16: Happy Coronaversary!
Mostly we talked about how our perspective has changed because of Covid, how our attention shifted from big raves to smaller parties where at least you are able to meet people. “Gimme, gimme, gimme a vaccine after midnight. Won’t somebody help me chase the COVID away”Adalberto
2021-02-10 ~ Kinky Talks 15: Dark Eros: Tantra and BDSM
Both Jakey and Viktor both tell our listeners clearly that they are open for questions and informing people. So if you got questions: look them up online: MrVikThor.com and Instagram: TantricKinkster..
2021-01-21 ~ Kinky Talks 14: What’s your favourite online fetish platform?
We got a cool panel of people to talk about why their favourite platforms We started with the question where our first platforms were. And some of us our talk with our ‘confessions’ about what basically our 1st platforms in the world of kink were (sometimes fresh, so for some of us almost pre-internet). Where…
2020-12-30 ~ Kinky Talks 13: New Year’s Resolutions (bucket- & fuckitlists)
Hindsight is 2020frontsight is 2021? Our talk together went (as my last name suggests) from East to West and from North to South and around the clock. We all shared our own ideas about the last year and plans for the next one.Hope for the best… Plan for the best…
2020-12-09 ~ Kinky Talks 12: Info on HIV and PrEP
Today we had Stephan Metzlar-Rudolph Mr. Leather NL 2020 and Snorella WC, Ambassador for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. There is still a lot of misunderstanding about HIV. The virus is still the same (well… actually not quite, but that’s not the point here). But treatment possibilities have changed dramatically since the ’80s and ’90s with…
2020-11-18 ~ Kinky Talks 11: How to avoid Drama!
We were talking about Drama in the scene and in our (sex) lives. Hans did a little talk about ‘drama’ and how it could be looked upon along the lines of the ‘Drama Triangle’ by Karpman (a psychologist with a love for the Greek Drama -and the three roles of ‘drama’: the Victim, the Rescuer…
2020-10-28 ~ Kinky Talks 10: Leather! (guest: Stephan – Mr Leather NL)
Stephan was talking about the ways Covid influenced his life as a regular clubber and darkroom enthusiast, being “jailed at home”. When you are in an open relationship, you didn’t need to get your sexual kicks at home.Now, you do have to discover new things together.Stephan talked about how it created a nearness and a…
2020-10-07 ~ Kinky Talks 09: Dom space, sub Space (guest: Spot)
This date we had a special guest: Spot (on instagram: alpha_switch_spot)And he did talk a lot about D/s relationships and subjects like: collars and D/s households, the differences between TPE vs PPEP, about protocols and its meanings, his ideas about subspace and headspace and impact play.Also joining us was Karina Lins who wrote “Samtalen om…
2020-06-24 ~ Long term Kinky Relationships? 003
A bit more local than last time: Dutchies, Italians and Germans :-DHans explained some ideas about relationship phases and things you might want to look into when one decides to have: a long term relation, a relation as a fetishist, a power exchange relationship, or a longterm power-exchange relationship and terminology from the world of…
2020-06-10 ~ Do kinksters look for extremes?
Again a great international crowd: from ‘Frieslân’ Via Germany, London and Italy to L.A. USA. :-DHans laid out some theoretical ideas about possible reasons why we are sometimes, or maybe just seen as some time as being more extreme, maybe. But on the other hand, thinking too much about the ‘why’ of our kinks is…
2020-05-27 Kinky Talks 01
It was a nice international group.Hans said some theoretical stuf about boundaries and why we cope life better when we have ’em.And we talked a bit about the effects of parental examples And how BDSM can make us more ready to wrestle a bit with boundaries in a fun way. “But I want my boundaries…
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