2021-05-26 ~ Kinky Talks 20: Consent is Sexy!


Consent is always a hot topic and we need to talk about it. Especially now that we are crawling out of our covid-enclosures onto the stage of meeting people in the flesh again.
Us kinksters, we want to abuse and be abused… without really abusing anyone. We want to have fun with stretching holes and limits without becoming an asshole as a person.

Question is: how can I behave like an asshole without being one?


Where ‘consent’ as a topic originated from pre-play discussions in BDSM (anybody remembers: “Safe Sane and Consensual”?), it now spreads into the vanilla world, schooling systems and even courtrooms.
Different definitions of the term “consent” were created, political correctness ran away with the whole thing and now the concept is tossed back at us with sweet-sounding terminologies like ‘affirmative consent’ (meaning that if an initiative-taker has not verbally asked before taking a next step in sex-escalation and waited for an affirmative “yes”, one is apparently crossing boundaries -according to Nordic judges-)…

KinkAwareCoach_Lessons-Consent

Do we really need to make everything verbal? But then again, we do notice in the scene that there are sometimes asshole-Doms that are abusing newbe’s (…)

Okay, to be clear: we do think that ‘consent’ is really really important in BDSM (it is in our eyes the difference between BDSM and abuse). So how to meander between “handing in every little step in writing, in triplicate” on the one, and “rape-culture” on the other side… (provokingly stated to get some conversation going) 😀



When you got ideas or questions, pose them to Hans or Adalberto.
See you next time!


Published by KinkindeRelatie

A Kink Aware and openminded (relationship) coach. That does not mean you have to talk about kink, but at least here you don't have to be silent about it.

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