Young and Kinky – we gave “The Next Gen” the mic to listen to the voice of our Youngsters in the Scene. For the older generation that cares to listen.
So we are passing the mic to a couple of young and engaged kinksters, who are going to share their thoughts and experiences with us: Stevio, Dawid, Ty, RJ, Tiny Tim!
2023-02-01 ~ Kinky Talks 41: Young and Kinki – The Next Gen
Everybody enters the scene with the thought “I am the only one having these feelings”. And a community helps you to explore, to listen, and learn more. The scene helps us in discovering our kinks.
Because it is scary to accept yourself.
Especially in a scene where there is a lot of “play heavy” promotion, not so much focussing on the social aspects of the parties because they’re not that ‘hot’ on social media.
Remember: you don’t have to show up in full gear and expect a full weekend of play to start with!
We were discussing the question: “Start big and then go small? Or figure out the community in the more smaller environments, in smaller events, where you are noticed earlier as a new person and attract people talk to you. Smaller events are safer.
Small socials are a new trend. Local groups organize small (rubber) socials everywhere. And of course, there are not many real kink scenes outside the bigger cities, and not so much in the rural areas.
Suggestions to beginners:
- Do not feel pressured by people to get lots of gear. It is not necessary for being a part of this community (even tho social media might paint a different picture)
- Find fetish friends, and don’t invest in assholes that aren’t open to you. One day they’ll be old and crawling for your attention.
- Social media seems to promote having clothes for thousands of Euro’s…
“I have to look like the pictures” is a misunderstanding (you can be a happy wallflower) - “There are a lot of ideas about cleaning leather… but just go to a laundry shop”
- Buy things you like and can afford (Second skin is a second-hand gear shop. Twitter: Second Skin @second_skin_co ) Read about it on Wings: get into your second skin
- Find yourself a ‘comfort buddy’, a friend (kinky or not), that you can share your experiences via WhatsApp. (because it is important to share new experiences).
- If you are the experienced one: try to think back to when you were inexperienced.
- Don’t assume age=experience
- Understand that you should not learn from pornhub but do find workshops and real people. Otherwise, you might get burned out because you miss connection and reality.
- Don’t try to be ‘a slave’ to meet a master. You are better off with a genuine approach!
Anybody trying to learn sex from porn
KinkAwareCoach.com
(or learning a love-life from Disney):
Know that you’re badly informed!
To the old Farts in the scene:
- Change is gonna come and you better be open to it.
- You may be really strict about your rules and ceremonies and they might turn you on, but it is not only about sex.
- Also, be kind and share your experience.
- Sometimes the experienced don’t even know that they are in our own bubble
Let’s pop some bubbles!
“Accept yourself, don’t shame yourself”
Darklands as your first festival, (asking for a shy punky friend):
- Balance the time away from Darklands with the time on Darklands.
- Enjoy the thrill that comes with the preparation
- Remember European breakfast.
- Recon can help connect if you search for the name of the festival
- Have a look at Fetish traveler
- The romanticism and vulnerability of fleeting moments at an event are actually wonderful. If it didn’t end, would it still be special? If you are human you will always have the feeling that you did not do enough with your time.
The next generation is, again and again, new to the history and rules,
Hans
with a healthy disdain for the hardships of past generations,
…just enough to change and grow (a bit)
to tell us: Fuck the Rules!!!
Registration is until 5 pm, and the email with the link will be sent by 7 pm at the latest at the date of the Talk
Kinky Talks 