2023-01-04 ~ Kinky Talks 40: Drop, drop, event-drop

After the new year’s parties, after the first reality checks of our own new year’s resolutions, and after last year’s pandemic, it seemed kinda logical to come up with this Kinky Talk’s theme: “Drop, drop, event-drop!” 😉

Almost every sub AND most Doms know that feeling of “drop” two, or three days after great events, after intense BDSM sessions, or after altered mind states when they end. We all might feel “that drop…

@Sapphire and KinkAwareCoach Hans both have some ideas and thoughts about this.



For sometimes “drop” can disrupt the life of subs, Doms, kinksters and queers. Sometimes “Drop” is something to literally take into account for what goes up, almost always has to come down. We don’t think that it is good or bad (even tho the quality of the low can give away things the high you’ve experienced). But when you are in an unstable period or if you are battling serious depression, then taking some extra precautions could be clever. Because it does not get to be ‘willed away’.

‘Drop’ is always personal, often relational and it’s not at all about “good or bad” or “weak or strong”

How drop?
Create a safe space (together?)
and let yourself fall!

Hans

Event crash

Sapphire talked in length about the subject of ‘event drop’. From travel-planning in advance to managing yourself with culture injections afterwards.

It is a good idea to plan for your drop before you drop. Having said so: try to make the curve from event-mode to daily life more smooth.
Good things will always pass (just as the bad things -HW-) so don’t let your daily life be negatively influenced by the highs you experienced. If a super-high makes everything else feel worthless, that does not mean that you should not fly that high. It means you should plan enough time for your landing.

A tip is: visit the city afterwards. Create connections in the event to go to a museum with people without the rush of the music thumping. Create some quality time together.
Moreover, flights are cheaper on Tuesdays and Wednesdays instead of the airway’s ‘return-rush’ (in itself a stressor you don’t really need) on Mondays.


Be in touch with the community

Don’t be lonely after the warm social shower of an event. Keep in touch (telegram, WhatsApp, etc) to prevent the social drop. That feeling of loneliness is just, especially for people back in their countries that don’t allow being gay.

Beforehand create some consistency and routines to get your life in check, which may help to soften the landing into your daily life. Glide down and Don’t rush it. OR(!) make the following days so hectic and full of stress that you don’t have time for drops because you are up to your eyeballs filled with adrenaline… But plan the next weekend empty then (you will have to land someday).

Connections are important, also beforehand. Check the website of the organisers, and prepare yourself by going to the chats about the event beforehand. Pack your suitcase with enough gear in your luggage to not miss any opportunities but don’t kill your back. Bring some water and electrolytes to withstand the ‘dance’ in warm, dark places.

Experience is reality minus expectations

Hans

Beforehand

Beforehand, building up a long list of expectations makes it impossible to tick “all 155 boxes”. Because if you don’t you’ll be more likely to be depressed because you missed things. See what’s there and prepare to go to a few things and then let yourself be surprised by the rest. Plan 2-3 things, and if there is more? Then that is an extra!

If you are a little bit afraid to go to a big event for the first time? Go early and watch the crowd trickle in. Don’t depend on Dutch courage (alcohol and other drugs) but reach out to people beforehand. There could be people that you plan to see (and remember they will be busy too). You might also as the help of instances like the Sisters of perpetual indulgence to get you through the first steps.

Partially you need to re-become yourself, partially you may have been changed by the events that you visited. Especially the first time(s) your experiences may have changed you. Being amongst so many like you. Prepare yourself afterwards to still resonate in your community.


Registration is as always until 5 pm, and the email with the link will be sent by 7 pm at the latest.


PS Interesting read might be (Dutch): “Sergei Speransky Spanking Methode”


Published by KinkindeRelatie

A Kink Aware and openminded (relationship) coach. That does not mean you have to talk about kink, but at least here you don't have to be silent about it.

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