Chemsex is an easy subject to ignore… until you can’t ignore it anymore. That is why Adalberto and I like to highlight the fun, the risks, the slippery slope, the highs, the “gezelligheid”, the lows, the point of no return, the rock-bottom and that swampy sinking feeling when you notice you should really start to react to the effects that chems have on your (quality of) life.
So let’s not be silent about chems, but let’s talk about using chems (drugs) in a sexual setting.
Of course, we can react to people using chems for sex by talking absolute BS such as “just say NO”! And of course ‘therapists’ could surpass the gay reality and say something like “you should not want to have sex like that” and thus blaming the gay lifestyle again.
2022-12-14 ~ Kinky Talks 39: Chemsex in the Scene
Right before the precipice, is where we change
Addiction creates its own importance. So let’s not add more importance to “chems”, by adding a “do not ever use” before whatever ‘chems’ (drugs) you are talking about. “Don’t drink”, “Don’t use drugs”… The War on Drugs has not been fruitful for over 50 years now. Let’s recognize that, please. There are more drugs, more addicts, and better quality drugs. So what is a more realistic approach? And let’s not pretend that we have all the ‘right’ answers because it is always a personal journey and it’s not about “right or wrong”.
Sex is an important emotion and it comes in a thousand different flavours. It is easy to think that everyone should have the same sex and blame all deviance (and thus blame the gay lifestyle). But let’s not, and find an accompaniment without the blame-trap.
The reality is that vanilla’s and vanilla relationship therapists are learning from the gay lifestyle because there is a lot of experience there with non-monogamy and a kinky lifestyle that vanillas could learn from.
So we are really happy to talk to David who is willing to talk about his experiences. Not a complete journey so you can sit back and relax with the certainty that you will be OK. No, the uncertainty about chemsex may well be a thing to embrace as a reality. But a personal quest for one’s personal quality of life.
Let’s talk about chemsex because coping with chems on the scene is a personal quest for one’s personal quality of life.
Let’s talk fruitful and without prejudice about Chemsex. We aim to help not judge. We aim to inform and search for answers that are useful for you in navigating our kinky scene.
Please take Note
Tim Dekkers and Henk Burger are making a special and penetrating documentary about suicide amongst LGBTIQ+ people. To make the last phase possible, they have started a crowdfunding:
https://www.voordekunst.nl/projecten/14426-documentaire-zelfmoord-onder-lhbtiqers#
Kinky Talks 