We feel that we are not stretching it when Adalberto and I both hoped for a really deep talk about the things one could do with big toys. And even tho we were prepared well for some really in-depth discussion about ways “to go the distance” and perhaps some “how to’s“, to go where no man has gone before. We were prepared to talk about ways to prepare yourself for deep feelings and about sphincters giving way. So we dove -head first- into this subject.
OK, enough play on words: both Karin (Ms Fetish Eagle Amsterdam 2021) & Mr Provios really (really!) had a lot to say on the subject of safe and monstrous fun to be had with monstrous toys back there. The first part is on the video. And other aspects of this Kinky Talk #21, of this subtle and thorough talk about safe backdoor fun.
We talked about chemistry a lot this talk.
Both (a bit) about chems up the mouth/nose or chems up the other side have advantages and risks.
How to prevent SARA (Sexual Activity Related Accidents) while doing brutal things to assholes
Mr Provios
Videolink https://youtu.be/hFwhWI904qE
Chems for the brain or for the bum.
Even though certain chemicals can help you by creating numbness or creating relaxation so that you can do things that you otherwise couldn’t, needing it every time to engage in a certain activity creates a dependency on those chemicals. A rule of thumb of four or five times a year, and then trying to do the same things that you did with chems -but now without chemicals- is probably a wise rule.
Know thyself
The danger number one in fisting is most likely: not knowing your own body!
This whole thing is about stretching the limits. And therefore it’s important to explore your own body -both as a top and a bottom-, to know how ‘normal’ does feel.
That helps you to understand how something can see you when being stretched to the limits. There are moments when you feel that something isn’t “right”, or “good”, while it still is “right”. When entering your portals after the Sigmoid, for instance.
And as a bottom you don’t have to endure everything, it is your responsibility to react to things that feel “wrong”.
The anus itself, it is not rocket science. There are basically three structures that could be hurt: skin, muscle and bone (the os coccygis -the tailbone-).
Skin:
The lining of the anus is really really soft. So you have to take care of your nails and calluses Or better yet: always use gloves to enter the anus.
Karin’s pro tip: if you use two gloves over each other, you can still take one out and take one off while you are holding ‘contaminated’ objects that you wanted to throw away. So you use that inside-out glove as a ‘container’to throw stuff away… and there is still one glove to continue playing -in a hygenic way-.
Prevent rupture of skin and muscle.
Gloves are far smoother than skin therefore give less drag inside (another reason to use gloves). And of course, there is a lot of lube to be used.
Pain can be fun but the rupture of skin or sphincters is likely to feel like a sharp burning pain that is not good. Ruptures in the skin can heal rather fast if they don’t get infected, ruptures in sphincters can take a lot of time and training to heal. Especially because scarred tissue doesn’t stretch easily.
The overstretched lining of the intestines that comes inside out can have serious effects on blood flow and hemorroïds
So don’t overdo it and take time to heal, like two days between sessions.
Karin
Because the lining of the intestines is so delicate, it is important that you use a lot of lube. Spit (altho seen in movies) is hardly ever enough. Only when somebody has a real nice ‘self-lubricating’ ass, that could seem like being enough lubrication. Often it is the extra ‘water’ that re-awakens the dried in water-based lube.
By the way, if you want to improve the self-lubrication of your arse it might be a wise idea to add a little sugar to your lube. Turds are normally coated in a slimy layer of mucus to hold them together and to let them pass easily. That process happens in the last part of the intestines. And sugar makes you produce extra intestinal slime there. If you use icing sugar (powdered sugar) for this, then you won’t have any problems with abrasive big sugar crystals. This is the reason why certain lubes like J-lube do have a little sugar in them, and it is exactly the reason why you should not use those lubes vaginally (sugar and vaginas tend to exacerbate jeast infections).
Another danger mentioned by Mr Provios is: a lack of communication. What signals do I give verbally? And also nonverbally? When something is hard to take as a bottom. Asking somebody for instance to really present their arse for entering is a way to see whether somebody is ready for your next move.
Take care of the signs as a Top: After Green for starting, Amber for “slow down, take a break” and Red for slowly moving out, there are our bodily signs like widening the eyes squinting the eyes et cetera.
We talked a lot about Lube and one of the favourites for both of our guests was X-lube.
Especially when combined with Crisco.
Combine 3 spoons of X-lube with half of a litre of warm water, and then combining that with 225 g of Crisco works really well (use warm water for the emulsification process of the watery lube with the fatty Crisco)…
(This part of our show really made me think of kids playing with their “Mister Science Chemistry Set) 😀
The lube you prepared out of the X-lube powder and that you did not use in that session, that can stay good up to 14 days in the refrigerator.
(to prevent it from going off faster, be really anal about hygiene whilst preparing your stuff. Use a clean spoon on a clean plate, to not pollute the crisco, for instance)
And do remember that fat (Crisco) and latex condoms don’t really combine well for the next 24 hrs.
Hans
Feeling it or not feeling it?
Maybe you like to have “full feeling capacity”, maybe you like to use something like lidocaine or perhaps mint/menthol to numb the feeling. Mint/mental tends to connect to pain receptors and therefore block pain. Somebody in the audience uses toothpaste for this, but since toothpaste has abrasives and the lining of the intestines are that tender (especially for starters) that might be not a good idea for everybody.
There are lubes with numbering agents, you could also use lidocaine on the tip of your fingers (but be careful with rimming afterwards because your mouth might be numb for the rest of the evening)
Bad Dragon also has “cum lube” that looks like the real thing but it is a great water-based lube to use, it’s expensive though.
Where we in Kink Aware Coach used to say that silicon bass lube was the way to go, nowadays there are water-based lubes that are really good and those are much safer in combination with silicon-based toys. Sometimes different forms of silicon tend to react with other silicons. And especially the cheaper Ali Baba toys that are made from (often smelly) “Mystery Meat” that could give some really nasty effects. Adding such a mixture on the lining of your intestines -that are made for uptake- may not be the wisest thing. Maybe spend a little more and not buy mystery meat toys.
Gas…
Something to take into account is being really really bloated and having brutal farts afterwards. The fisting process really bumps air into somebody’s arse unless you’re really tensioning up your abs.
By the way, there are toys with a special gap in them to let air come out.
Take your time
Stretching takes time so do go slow and then some slower. Once you’re in and have passed the second sphincter you can slowly start to dilate them. Bye-bye incrementing steps of half a centimetre diameter per session, use a ruler or piece of string and the Pi-rule to go from circumference to diameter.
Write down the formula for calculating the circumference of a circle:
Science Teacher
C = π x d
where C = circumference, π = 3.14 and d = diameter.
Addendum 11 dec 2021:
We both want to thank Mr Provios for his whit and laughter, and his big knowledge of big toys.
We regret that his life had to end and we weren’t as aware as we would have liked to be.
Thanks Mr Provios for showing us who you were too… 1983-2021
Different forms for different folks
The ‘tower toy’ can be used nicely because of its own weight. If you use it upside down (whilst the sub-ject is laying on its belly), the sheer weight of this toy nicely helps the ‘entrance’ process.
The “egg” is Provios’s favourite for training width.
Some people like the Bad Dragon fetish formed dildos, some find them looking too ‘edgy’ (literally).
The Slink is not cheap but worth its money and design for going in deep. It is really would you like to train: taking girth, being wide or taking long things, being deep.
If do you want to train width and you have small hands then it might be a good idea to have a thing like a crystal egg inside your hand (only one guess where that tip came from) 😀
If do you like, you could also use rubber cock sleeves to improve the girth of your penis (tip: the ones that do not or have a little hole in the tip tend to stick better in place because of sucking a vacuum).
Thanks
Adalberto and I, we are mostly sitting in silence and in awe, this Talk. Thanks to both Karin (Ms Fetish Eagle Amsterdam 2021) and Mr Provios for your knowledge en courage to talk sensible about this!
When you got ideas or questions, pose them to Hans or Adalberto.
See you next time!
When you got ideas or questions, pose them to Hans or Adalberto.
See you next time!
Kinky Talks 