2020-12-09 ~ Kinky Talks 12: Info on HIV and PrEP

The MOUSTACHE edition!!!

Today we had Stephan Metzlar-Rudolph Mr. Leather NL 2020 and Snorella WC, Ambassador for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation.
There is still a lot of misunderstanding about HIV. The virus is still the same (well… actually not quite, but that’s not the point here). But treatment possibilities have changed dramatically since the ’80s and ’90s with new AIDS-prevention medication and PrEP-medication that can help you to not get infected. So Stephan and Snorella help us see what the changes since then mean for our sex-life and our (mental) health.

The Moustache Edition

about HIV-awareness and sex

We talked about AIDS, being the ‘other’ (way more lethal) pandemic and about the importance of not putting a stigma on taking up the responsibility for your own sexual health. If you are sexually active and you understand that “safe sex is” a lie (there is NO way to have sex in a 100% safe way. You will ALWAYS be at some risk when you enjoy sex) but that “safer sex” is a realistic way of looking at sex.
Snorella opened the evening talking about the work as an ambassador and importance of having peers that do NOT feel the taboo of sexuality. And that it is important in these times of Covid to keep talking about:

HIV… The ‘other’ Pandemic

Micha/Snorella

Stephan talked about his experience as a long term (that means: over 15 year) HIV-survivor and how that has changed since the 90’s. How having medication that not only stops you from dying of AIDS but way more importantly medication that helps to not be afraid of sex anymore. He told us of guys afraid of having sex for 15 to 20 years!
We talked about how the real danger nowadays is in not knowing your status and therefore possibly infecting other people.

We talked the difference in different parts of the world and how Amsterdam and Hamburg follow the united states where PrEP programs in New York and California help to stop the spreading of AIDS. And how hard it is to live in Muslim countries that deny the reality of sex in their own country (not what ‘should’ happen, but the reality that happens)

We talked about the sex-negativity in schools and in certain cultures help to spread teenage pregnancy and spread HIV and other STD’s because people somehow feel ‘protected’ by being not-gay. And therefore keep spreading the diseases.

This strange taboo on being sexual and being responsible about your health. Where we’d rather not go and test ourselves because we are afraid of the stigma. Where we rely on condoms only where 5 out of 1000 (100x) fucks turn out to be the one that gotten you infected because of a ripped condom or a HIV-positive top that took of his condom without you knowing it.

It is safer to be fucked without a condom by someone who know his status and has taken medication accordingly (AIDS inhibitors or PrEP) then being fucked by a someone that does not wants to be tested because he’s afraid of the taboo!…

Dirk

We talked about the role of different religions that block conversations about extra marital sex and therefore contribute to the spreading of diseases because people do not dare to be tested or ask for medication to prevent spread of diseases. And we talked about the fear of not asking questions the ‘right’ way. Where just a little “I don’t know how to say this” would discharge you from blame, even if you’d ask questions in a dismissing way.

“Am I ‘clean'”, you ask?
What if I would be ‘dirty’?
What would you do with dirt in your life?

questions to be mindful of…

We mentioned the Longterm (15years+) HIV-positive persons that of course can feel jealousy towards younger gays that have a freedom that they haven’t had for 30+ years. And we talked just a bit about how you’d have to be tested on HIV first before starting PrEP because otherwise you’d run the risk of creating a resistant strain of HIV. And how it is important to not just get PrEP on the internet somewhere but get it from your GP and get right tests to administer this drug in a good way.

And we ended on the notion that in the 60’s-70’s ‘the Pill’ (to prevent pregnancy) was a taboo-subject, a ‘pill of shame’. And how normal it is to use this pill nowadays, even in Muslim countries. SO we might appreciate the hope from Hamburg that in just a few decennia PrEP might be just as normal as ‘the Pill’ is now.

If you got questions: ask Hans.
See you on Kinky Talks



Published by KinkindeRelatie

A Kink Aware and openminded (relationship) coach. That does not mean you have to talk about kink, but at least here you don't have to be silent about it.

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