2020-10-28 ~ Kinky Talks 10: Leather! (guest: Stephan – Mr Leather NL)

Stephan’s face while declaring publicly that he is a greedy pig 😀 #love

Stephan was talking about the ways Covid influenced his life as a regular clubber and darkroom enthusiast, being “jailed at home”. When you are in an open relationship, you didn’t need to get your sexual kicks at home.
Now, you do have to discover new things together.
Stephan talked about how it created a nearness and a focus on doing “what is fun for each other” and paved the way for experimenting with old and new kicks.
“Talking more about wishes and techniques with your partner. Embracing the awkwardness of explaining to your partner what you’d like to feel where.”

Some quotes from our conversation:

  • If you accept that sex is an intrinsic part of your identity, you really need to rethink things.
  • When your partner is more vanilla than you are, and afraid of doing it wrong: try to take more time for “Fun for both of us” at home. Find some “regular mates” that come by for fun.
  • We are finding each other in existing things from each other’s kinks, that weren’t explored together before… If you combine all your stuff and then you have a room full of gear and then exploring that together…
  • Cybersex is filling a void. And cruising the sincere porn discussions on https://www.reddit.com/ is fun
  • If you feel that you have to take “Social distancing” really serious, it feels like “Social isolation”
  • “We are re-finding things that were fun before and were forgotten”
  • Some of us found new kicks and fetishes (we are expecting a rain of shower vids) 😉
  • Some re-found their old kicks and explore those with new vigor
  • Some have new hobbies like creating BDSM furniture
  • Some experiment with the possibilities of chemsex and getting into problems when “using chems to improve sex” turns into “sex becoming just another reason to have chems”
  • Some experiment with chastity. What is your fetish, where’s the fun? (and still trying to get into the moment)
  • MrVikthor suggested sites like: https://www.emlalock.com/

If you never did something you can still try it a few times for your partner. It may not be your primary kick but if it is the primary kick of your partner…

  • Cam sex is on the rise
    “Cam sex was never a thing and now we are yelling before our screens to cheer and spirit someone on the other side and telling them how deep and how hard they should be shoving your choice out of their toys in their…”
    It may not even be that exciting, at the moment, but it’s more a personal experience in the moment together, that leads to 6 days of fapping afterwards.
    • Cam sex may be either jacking off simultaneously. But it could also be having a look in their private life and telling them how to (and giving compliments for performance)
  • We were talking about how to be a better Dom if you are not someone that likes to tell somebody what to do, exactly. “I like to inspire, not require” could be a great example… Less protocol, and more relation…

”These days, we are doomed to experience things together with my partner”

Published by KinkindeRelatie

A Kink Aware and openminded (relationship) coach. That does not mean you have to talk about kink, but at least here you don't have to be silent about it.

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